


The Weight of Our Actions:  On Major Sholto, Sherlock, and the Reichenbach Fall

by stephisanerd



Series: Reinterpreting the Reichenbach Fall [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Meta, Sherlock Meta, The Empty Hearse, The Reichenbach Fall, The Sign of Three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 12:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephisanerd/pseuds/stephisanerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my interpretation not only of Sherlock's interactions with Major Sholto, but what that tells us about his actions at the end of The Reichenbach Fall, and throughout The Empty Hearse. (Note: Trigger warning-- suicide/suicidal intention.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weight of Our Actions:  On Major Sholto, Sherlock, and the Reichenbach Fall

 

**Sherlock** : Major Sholto?  
 **Major Sholto:**  So – I was to be killed by my uniform. How appropriate.  
 **Mary** : He solved the case, Major. You’re supposed to open the door now. A deal is a deal.  
 **Major Sholto** : I’m not even supposed to have this any more. They gave me special dispensation to keep it. I couldn’t imagine life out of this uniform. I suppose – given the circumstances – I don’t have to.  **When so many want you dead, it hardly seems good manners to argue.**  
 **John:**  Whatever you’re doing in there, James, stop it, right now. I will kick this door down.  
 **Major Sholto** : Mr. Holmes, you and I are similar, I think.  
 **Sherlock** : Yes, I think we are.  
 **Major Sholto** : There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?  
 **Sherlock** : Of course there is.  
 **Major Sholto** : And one should embrace it when it comes – like a soldier.  
 **Sherlock** : Of course one should, but not at John’s wedding. We wouldn’t do that, would we – you and me?  **We would never do that to John Watson**.

* * * 

A man is standing there, preparing to almost, but not quite, take his own life. It doesn't require outright suicide—just a decision to let it happen, to embrace the fact that people want him dead and gone _._ The media and everyone else blame Major Sholto for what happened, for all of his recruits dying, and it has worn him down.  People want him dead because of who and what he is.  The easiest course would be  to go along with it—prove them right  and die in disgrace, especially since his very presence puts everyone else in danger.  It doesn't have to happen; it could be prevented, but someone already wrote the story.  _Why not embrace it?_   

Does that sound at all familiar?  It should.  **It's a story we've all heard before.**

> **Sherlock** : ... unless I kill myself – complete your story.  
>  **Jim** : You’ve gotta admit that’s sexier.  
>  **Sherlock** : And I die in disgrace.  
>  **Jim:**  Of course. That’s the  _point_ of this.

_You and I are similar, I thin_ _k,_ Major Sholto tells Sherlock. He's not wrong. Sherlock may not have actually  _died,_ but he climbed up onto that ledge _._  He was believed to be guilty of kidnapping, of staging crimes for himself to solve even by most of the people close to him. W _hen so many want you dead, it hardly seems good manners to argue._  It wouldn't take much to complete the thing, and so he called John--one of the few people left who still believed in him, said his goodbyes and jumped. 

We, as the audience, know that it's not quite what it seems—while John sees senseless suicide, we know that's he not actually dead and that he ostensibly did it to protect John, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. We find out that Mycroft had a plan. Every potential scenario was worked out.  While Sherlock had to appear to die, his actions weren't all  _necessary_. Faking his death in the manner that he did (and everything he did afterward) was a choice.   **Sherlock accepted Mycroft's plan and Moriarty's narrative and let them dictate his actions.**

> **John** : Well, probably one of the killers you managed to attract ...Jesus.  _Jesus_. She’s dying, Sherlock. Let’s go.  
>  **Sherlock** : You go. I’m busy.  
>  **John** : Busy?  
>  **Sherlock** : Thinking. I need to think.  
>  **John** : You need to ...? Doesn’t she mean  _anything_  to you? You once half killed a man because he laid a finger on her.  
>  **Sherlock** : She’s my landlady.  
>  **John** : She’s dying ...You  _machine._   Sod this. Sod this. You stay here if you want, on your own.  
>  **Sherlock** : Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.  
>  **John** : No.  _Friends_  protect people.  
>  ...  
>  **Jim** : Your friends will die if you don’t.  
>  **Sherlock** : John.  
>  **Jim** : Not just John. Everyone.  
>  **Sherlock** : Mrs. Hudson.  
>  **Jim** :  _Everyone._  
>  **Sherlock** : Lestrade.  
>  **Jim** : Three bullets; three gunmen; three victims. There’s no stopping them now.  
>  \--
> 
> **John:**   _Please_ , this is no time for games. Just let us in! You’re in danger!  
>  **Major Sholto** : So are you, so long as you’re here. Please, leave me. Despite my reputation, I  _really_  don’t approve of collateral damage.

Though the phone-call about Ms. Hudson is a ruse, Sherlock sees the truth in it. He recognizes that John is in danger, so he not only lets him leave, he baits him into doing so. He recognizes now that his clever battle of wits with Moriarty has had far too many casualties and near casualties.  All of the crimes Moriarty staged for him,  and that he was involved in. The old woman, and the people in that block of flats.  John.  The kidnapped children.  He feels the weight of that.  And as he soon finds out, John, Ms. Hudson, and Lestrade all would have been collateral damage in Moriarty's scheme this time.  As long as he is alive, they still might be--Sherlock's connection to his friends puts them all in danger. It's all because of who he is.  He believes what both he and John say.  He believes that alone will protect him, but he also believes that it will protect his friends, and so he finishes the story that Moriarty has written.  He calls John, and confesses that he is a fake.   _Please leave me.  I really don't approve of collateral damage._  


With the story now complete, Sherlock jumps. And Sherlock's version of events, if you accept it to be true or mostly true, reinforces how  unnecessary what he does to John is;  _how unnecessary it all is._  He reveals that the sniper trained on John saw the staging of the thing and was invited to reconsider making it deeply debatable whether John needed to see it all happen. _Unnecessary._ For the plan to work, maybe John still needed to convincingly play the part of the grieving friend, but Molly, Mycroft, Sherlock's parents, and at least 25 members of Sherlock's homeless network knew that Sherlock was alive.  _Unnecessary._ Sherlock's parents didn't even attend the funeral. If the end game was that everyone needed to believe that Sherlock was dead, why wouldn't his parents need to visibly play the part as well?  _Unnecessary._ Was there any reason that John really needed to believe that Sherlock was dead when so many others didn't? Any real reason that John needed to grieve him?   


For all that Sherlock may have believed he was doing the right thing, that he was protecting John, he is not adept at judging the emotional cost of his actions.  He rarely realizes or cares how his actions affect those around him.  He doesn't recognize the weight of the emotional trauma he occasionally inflicts--he sets up the experiment in the lab in  _The Hounds of Baskerville_  to prove a theory, and traumatizes John in the process. (Notably, Sherlock's behavior at the end of that episode when John confronts him about it is very similar to his behavior in  _The Empty Hearse_  when he doesn't want to tell John why he faked his death or who knew.) He gleefully thanks clients for exciting cases when they're distraught. He doesn't understand why someone would be upset about a long ago still-born daughter. A kidnapping is “neat”, a puzzle to be solved, rather than horrifying.  He lies, he manipulates, and he almost never realizes or cares when he's hurting someone.  People largely put up with it and he rarely has to face up to the weight or the consequences of his actions. 

None of this driven home more clearly then it is at the beginning of  _The Empty Hearse_. Somehow, Sherlock expects to just reappear and go happily back to his old life where he and John live in 221B and solve cases together. It seems completely bizarre to the audience and everyone in universe, but it is very much like Sherlock to not consider the emotional cost of the stunts he pulls. He clearly sees his death as just one more magic trick that people will accept. He gleefully dons an absurd disguise to surprise John after ignoring Mycroft's warnings that things have changed and it's possible he won't be welcome. “ _You let me grieve. How could you do that?_ ” John asks him. “ _Do you have any idea what you've done to him?_ ” Mary asks. Sherlock suddenly sees the result of his actions and is  _completely_  out of his depth as to how to deal with it. He jokes, appeals to John's love of danger, and tries everything he can think of, but it's not enough. It's not even close. " _I said I'm sorry.  Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"_ he asks an incredulous Mary.  He may  _see_  the result of his actions, but he doesn't understand yet.  He's only beginning to comprehend the real weight of what he has done. 

Before they can even begin to attempt to deal with it all, John is kidnapped.  Sherlock immediately reacts, racing through London, frantically trying to reach his friend in time.  As he realizes what's happening--that John is about to be burned alive--he utters a terrified " _Oh my God_ " and tears off into the crowd screaming John's name, before throwing himself into the bonfire to pull him out.  The scene plays out in much the same way as the climax of  _The Reichenbach Fall_ , though this time it's Sherlock trying to reach his friend in time, Sherlock fighting his way through the crowd, Sherlock standing over John's body. Sherlock living the scenario from the other side begins to see what it must have been like for John to witness it all.   

The next day, John comes over to 221B, and it appears that they are at least on speaking terms.  But John meets Sherlock's parents, realizes that they knew all along, and confronts Sherlock about that fact. Sherlock apologizes again--” _Sorry. Sorry again_.” He sounds frustrated, defensive, and emotional. He is sorry, but things aren't okay, even if John is talking to him and willing to work with him on a case.  It's not enough, for either of them, and he knows that.  

It's not until he apologizes in the train car that he even begins to get close. “ _I'm sorry. I can't...I can't do it, John. I don't know how. Forgive me.  Please, John, forgive me, for all the hurt I caused you._ " He understand now that his actions have had consequences. He recognizes that there is nothing he can do to fix any of it.  He can't undo it; he can't change it. Nothing will erase John's grief or anger.  He's not offering excuses or explanations.   _He's begging for mercy_ and John's forgiveness, when it comes, appears to take Sherlock completely by surprise, because he's still missing a piece of the puzzle.   **He still doesn't quite see the weight of it all.**  

> **John** : Look, Sherlock, this is the biggest and most important day of my life.  
>  **Sherlock** : Well …  
>  **John** : No, it is! It is, and I want to be up there with the two people that I love and care about most in the world.  
>  **Sherlock** : Yes.  
>  J **ohn:**  Mary Morstan …  
>  **Sherlock** : Yes.  
>  **John** : … and … you.  
>  ...  
>  **Sherlock** : So, in fact …you-you mean …  
>  **John:**  Yes.  
>  **Sherlock** : I’m your …best …  
>  **John** : … man.  
>  **Sherlock** : … friend?  
>  **John** : Yeah, ’course you are. ’Course you’re my best friend.

Saying that Sherlock is stunned by this information would be an understatement, but as hilarious as the delivery is, it drives home a very important point.

_Sherlock has never understood how John feels about him._ Sherlock has always believed that John values him because he is clever and brilliant, and because it means that John gets the danger and adventures that he desires.

Consider the Reichenbach phone call again. If Sherlock believes that all John cares about his cleverness, he has to believe that if John stops valuing that that he will simply walk away, that he will no longer care about Sherlock.  _“_ _I’m a fake.”_ Sherlock tells him _._ He isn'tjust saying goodbye or trying to protect John-he’s trying to convince John that everything that he has ever believed mattered about Sherlock is a lie. Sherlock is trying to break John’s faith in him, hoping that it will lessen the loss.  _“Nobody could be that clever.”_ Sherlock tells him _._ John doesn’t see the truth of what Sherlock is really saying, what it really means, and he simply tells Sherlock  _“y_ _ou could”._

**Consider what it all means.**   Sherlock believes himself to be, in part, responsible for all of the death and pain that Moriarty has caused.  It's all because of who he is; it's because Moriarty saw him as a worthy advisary.   **He doesn't believe he matters to anyone. Why shouldn't he go along with Mycroft's plan and Moriarty's story?**  It isn't actually a suicide, but it's all but.  He walks away from his life, and spends two years, on his own and lonely, destroying Moriarty's network because he thinks it's the only thing of any worth he can do. 

He comes back to find John furious and can’t make sense of his anger, because he doesn’t understand the source of it. He doesn't realize that John might forgive him, because he doesn't realize what is there underneath the anger.  It's not until John finally spells it out for him that Sherlock finally sees the truth of it.  _He matters to John **. John loves him.**_ **It's only then that Sherlock realizes the true weight of his actions.** He finally sees how much of a loss his 'death' was for John. 

And so, when Sherlock is confronted by Major Sholto, it gets to him. All along, Sherlock has been taking in the similarities and he, while occasionally jealous of Major Sholto’s connection with John, sees himself. He sees a man who is letting his life be taken.  **He sees someone that John loves about to take his own life in front of him. Again** _ **.**  _“ _There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?_ _ **”**_ Major Sholto says. “ _And one should embrace it when it comes_.” But Sherlock understands the cost of embracing a death that could be avoided,  _of accepting the story that someone else has written for you_. More than that, _he understands the weight of such an action and_   _he knows the cost of doing that to someone who loves you_.  He understands all too well the grief and pain that it causes. He knows just what to say.  _ **“**_ ** _We wouldn’t do that, would we – you and me? We would never do that to John Watson.”_**

**And Sherlock wouldn't. At least, not anymore.**

He steps back, knowing that it will work, even as John threatens to break down the door.

Major Sholto emerges and says to John what Sherlock now realizes he should have said on the day he faked his death.   _I need your help._ _“_ I believe I am in need of medical attention.”

“ _I believe I am your doctor._ ” John says. And he is now, to both of them.

 

Note: 

 Originally posted as two pieces [here](http://stephisanerd.tumblr.com/post/74089719400/the-cost-of-allowing-someone-to-write-your-story-major) and [here](http://stephisanerd.tumblr.com/post/74977635795/the-weight-of-our-actions-further-considerations-on).

Transcript excerpts from [here.](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) 


End file.
